Sunday, February 26, 2006

Pet Peeve #372

Having just returned from Colorado Springs, one saying that I can't stand to hear is "Have a safe flight." Huh? That makes absolutely no sense. Sure, it's appropriate if I'm flying the plane, but don't you realize that I have no control over the flight's safety as a passenger? If the mechanic is incompetent, or the pilot's retarded, well I can't control that. I can only hope that when I get on the plane, I arrive in one piece. That is unless I'm returning to Great Falls. Then I usually contemplate jumping off the plane.

Can I get some more corn nuts over here? Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Plugger Ass With This

Have you guys seen this ridiculous daily comic "Pluggers"? What the hell is a plugger? To me, it looks like a daily living guide for trailer park trash. Having read the comic out of curiosity, my best guess is that to be a plugger you must: 1) Be poor (or cheap), 2) Be fat, 3) Reside in the boondocks, 4) Be stupid, 5) Have a pickup truck, 6) Have a hideous looking wife. No wonder The Tribune publishes it - I just described the average Great Falls resident. No way is this shit funny, but I guess the average Nascar fan can relate to it. Notice where it's published and where the ideas come from: hick states. No one from New York or California is submitting ideas for this garbage. Those people are too busy smoking weed and protesting the President to be a plugger.

That's f$cking stupid. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Better Than Gold's Gym

Man, if I had the money I'd build a gym in my basement. I'd only need a spot rack, an adjustable bench, a barbell, some weights, dumbells, and I could do all of my workouts. A high end treadmill would be nice too. I'd hook up some surround sound and blast hardcore music to pump me up. Maybe put a flat screen on the wall to keep up with the games. Yea, that would be the ultimate. I tell you, I'm fed up with going to gyms. They play gay pop music on the radio, and the muscle heads, don't even get me started on these guys. Let me lay down a few rules of gym etiquette: 1) No loud grunts. Making a little noise to get out that last rep is fine, but there's no need to yell at the top of your lungs. 2) Use one machine at a time. You don't have to occupy 5 different stations at once. And your jacket doesn't need a bench of its own. 3) De-rack your weights when you're done. Just because you're big and cool doesn't mean that I have to unload your weights. 4) Stop staring at your triceps in the mirror. The mirrors are to check form, not admire your vain self. 5) Kelly Clarkson should NEVER be played on the radio. Those are just a few of the rules, and several of the reasons why I need a gym in my house.

One of these to get me water would be nice too. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, February 05, 2006

We're Rockstars, Bitches

I think it's a rule that once you sign your first pair of tits, you're a rockstar. I checked the regs and this even applies in Great Falls. Well, select members of my band Enceladus accomplished just that Thursday night at our show at Machinery Row. I still don't know how or why that happened, but it did. So if you're a female fan, don't even expect me to talk to you unless you plan on taking off your shirt. And guy fans? Take a hike. We own Great Falls. I'm a rockstar bitch, and I'm better than you.

Who's next? Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Another One Down

Damn. There are not many good bands left. Word just came out that E Town Concrete will play its last show in May. These guys will go down as one of my all time favorite bands. For 10 years, they paid their dues, "matter of fact, they overpaid," accumulating a strong following in the Northeast (especially Jersey), but never quite getting their big break. They persevered on as they watched their peers, friends, and other less talented pieces of shit get record deals and strike it rich. Yea, they had a rap element to their music, which didn't set right with the hardcore kids and was too heavy for the rap kids. I blame Fred Durst for ruining rap-metal, and essentially E-Town's chance of making it big. I remember when I got their debut CD, "Time 2 $hine," sophomore year of college. I loved it. It was my anthem, my strength that got me through some tough classes and kept me from beating on the Chinese. I think I've seen E Town in concert 7 times, from crazy shows at the Hanover House, to Toad's Place, to the Webster Theatre, to the Worcester Palladium, to fantasy camp at Fat Cat's. And I'm still kicking myself for not going to their show in Bozeman in 2003. I had the opportunity to hang out with the band a couple of times, which I've always treasured. It's something special when you can say "Thanks" to a band you truly admire. We'll miss ya, E Town. It's too bad you didn't make it. But you inspired a lot of bands and a lot of people, and your influence will live on.

I punch the walls when I think about ETC breaking up.