Sunday, January 29, 2006

Time Flies

I can't believe it's been 20 years since the Challenger exploded. Man, am I getting old. I can still remember the day that it happened. It's funny how insignificant daily activities become seared in your memory when associated with a major, often catastrophic event. I was in the 3rd grade, and for some reason, we didn't watch the shuttle liftoff that day. Which was unusual, because in those early days of the space shuttle, class was often pleasantly interrupted as they wheeled a television in to watch the event. Instead, I found out about it on the ride home. Anthony's mom was driving the car pool that day. I was in the back seat of the blue station wagon, and we were heading down the hill on Wooden street, approaching Brookside, when she told us the news. She was surprised that we hadn't already known. Weird. I can't remember details of yesterday as clearly as that.

A chilling image in American history. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Is That the Paperboy?

In Great Falls, many women look more like men than some men do. Such was the case Saturday night at the Loading Zone. As my band was playing on stage, we had one fan who was rocking out hard up front. He looked a little young to be in the bar, but whatever. So my bass player Jared asks this gent what his name is, and he replies "Alton." Jared entices the crowd to come up front and get excited like this guy. At that moment, Alton replies, "I'm a girl," and tries to lift up her shirt to prove it. Turns out Alton's name was really Autumn, and looking like a guy was her goal. You don't find many folks living the alternative lifestyle in Great Falls, but here was one. Thanks for the support, Autumn. Next time Jared will get it right.

Why here's a local lady dancing at the Loading Zone! Posted by Picasa

Sunday, January 22, 2006

What's That Smell?

Only in Montana can a lady lie dead in her house for 9 months before being discovered. But that's not the worst of it. Her husband's dead body was also found in the house. But he died in 1997!! You mean to tell me this woman lived in the house for 8 YEARS with a dead, decomposing body? Was the cat snacking on him, or did she just use him a coat rack? And how did they discover he died in 1997? Carbon dating? That's disgusting. I know Montana has some small towns and reclusive people, but how do dead bodies lie around for that long? What did the neighbors think when the mail piled up and the grass grew 4 feet high? And the funniest thing is the County Sheriff said "there's nothing suspicious." What? I'd be suspicious of your town's law enforcement.

Yea but this is 2006. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, January 15, 2006

In The Water, I'm a Very Skinny Lady

Well I thought she died 34 years ago when she cleared the way for the preacher, then had a heart attack, and went down with the Poseidon. But it turns out Shelly Winters actually died yesterday at 85 years old. Once again, I reiterate that one of her most famous movies, The Poseidon Adventure, is still the greatest movie ever made. Raise your glasses tonight, break into the chorus of "Morning After," and remember one lady's great contribution to a classic film. Rest in peace, Mrs. Rosen.

"Manny, what's happening, Manny?!?" Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Miss Montana to Miss America? Fuggetaboudit!

No wonder there's no pageant contestants from Montana taking home the crown. Look what we're submitting for Miss Rodeo. What the hell is that? Is that a boy, a girl, or a horse's ass? I'm sorry, I understand it's Miss Rodeo and all, but come on. There's got to be something resembling a female in this state. I'd hate to see our Miss America candidate. Since 1921 there has never been a Miss Montana crowned Miss America. And I'll bet the ranch that tradition continues for a long time to come. Gross.

"Instead of an evening gown, Miss Montana will be donning a saddle." Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Playing With Fire

It was on the news last weekend that there was small fire at The Golden Corral restaurant in Great Falls. It appears that the outside fire was started when a person threw a cigarette into another pile of cigarettes, which caught fire. Authorities are looking for clues on a suspect. I can give you a clue -- it's that chain smoking slob Dave! Come on, it makes a lot of sense: Smoker + customer at an all you can eat buffet. Narrowing down the choices, it's got to be him. The only other possibilities are Jackie Gleason and John Candy, and they're dead. I'm sure the police could have found Dave inside the joint. He was probably only taking a smoke break in between runs through the dessert line.

But you will run for the toilet.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

The Tour Continues

I headed out of town for Christmas, but no, not to visit family. I'm not that nice. Instead I went to warmer weather and visited Phoenix for 4 days. Since my alma mater, Rutgers, was playing in their first bowl game in 27 years, and it was in a warm city, I decided to go. From drinking vodka and cokes at noon, to the pep rally, to the tailgate party, to the game, to bars in Scotsdale and Tempe, it was a jolly good time. I met some new friends, saw some old ones I hadn't seen in years, and reconnected with my Joisey days. Rutgers lost, but played a good game, and that in itself is a victory. Any downsides? Well a few of the locals I met were kind of assholes. They ain't no Canadians, that's for sure!

RU RU Rutgers Rah!