Sunday, July 31, 2005

Oh Canada

Despite the fact that hockey is their favorite sport, Canada is still the shit. The cities are clean, the people are nice, and the women are freaking gorgeous. And I love the way they say "I'm soorry." America should take a page out of Canada's book: just mind their own business and live. And stop eating so much. You don't see too many fat people in Canada. And there are no meatheads up there either, which makes going out much more enjoyable. Actually there are a lot of Ebeneizer McDoogles (see a prior post), but these guys are tolerable. It's just annoying at how they can score hot chicks. If Canada would just adopt baseball as their national pastime, I'd be packing my bags and heading north.

This is Nada, one of the ladies that was on my jock while I was in Calgary. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Blogs Out the Ass

Geez, everybody's got a freakin' blog these days. How do you guys keep up with everyone's posts? It must take all day to read them. I'll admit, I read very few blogs. Most bore the shit out of me, including my own. I don't link any blogs on my site because I don't want to offend anyone by omitting them, and I don't want a link in your blog in return. Frankly, I don't give a crap who reads my posts. I enjoy posting twice a week; putting my emotions/thoughts/rants into words, and in a sense "curing" me of my own inner turmoil on the subject. There, it's posted, and off my chest. It's better than therapy. Or Prozac.

"Golly, this blog is SO exciting!" Posted by Picasa

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Free Speech Rules

Don't you love it how the same people who are trying to censor everything are the same assholes shoving their right wing Christian values down your throat? It's a two way street, bitches. Being offended by something is a subjective act; everyone has different morals, views, beliefs, etc. I could be offended by your Nike shirt if I work for Adidas, for example. Now there are things that are done in bad taste, like the t-shirts sold at Prickwear (see example below). But the First Amendment guarantees the right to wear and say things like this, and it's not going to change. If you don't like it, well turn the other way. For the record, I'm not a devil worshipper or a homophobe...I just admire the balls it takes to produce stuff like this, and the even bigger balls it takes to wear it.

Everybody hates fags, right? Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

We Ain't Done Yet, Bitches

All you Yankee haters that pronounced us dead and buried...guess what? We right back in it, only 1/2 game out of first. After taking 3 of 4 from the Red Sux at Fenway over the weekend, the pennant race is on. We may have our problems, but we have the best owner in baseball, the best fans in the world, and the tradition to carry us through. We will be there in the end. Last Thursday's game was great, when the Sox brought in fat ass Curt Schilling to pitch the ninth in a tie game. The Fenway fans were going nuts for their hero. They shut up real fast when the slob threw a couple batting practice fastballs that Sheffield took off the wall and ARod took over Boston Harbor. Way to go, Curt! I guess that ankle isn't holding up so well. I hope you never walk again, bitch.

"I'll take a Big Mac with fries. And supersize it!" Posted by Picasa

Sunday, July 17, 2005

And Then There Was Nothing

If there was one good thing about Great Falls, it was the hard rock station The X, 107.3FM. In all the places I've been, this was probably the best commercial rock station that I've heard. They would play things that other stations wouldn't touch, like Hatebreed, Killswitch Engage, etc. Not to mention they were great supporters of the local music scene, including my own band(s). Well, imagine my disappointment when I woke up one day and found that The X had been replaced by SAM, some new fag station that plays songs from the 80s that I haven't heard since Reagan was in office. I swear the other day I heard Debbie Gibson. And they don't even have real DJs; it's run by some computer in a land faraway. So now we have 10 pussy stations and 0 rock stations in Great Falls. Man, this place just keeps getting better! Do me a favor, tell these numbnuts at Fisher Radio how retarded they are.

Lick a fat one, SAM. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I Found the Bastard!

Well, you guys can stop looking now. I found the angry hippie from the previous post that I was looking for. Apparently, extensive drug use has aged him 50 years and caused him to twirl around in a pink dress with no shirt on while drooling on himself. If ever there was a reason not to do drugs, this is it.

Hey man, got any acid?Posted by Picasa

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Have You Seen This Man?

First off, I want to apologize for my lack of posts in the recent weeks. I know there are millions of readers out there who were disappointed. I'm sorry. But the reason for my absence is that I was busy hosting and entertaining the man below. This angry hippie is quite the character, but there were some good times. From violent beer pong games to wildlife encounters in Glacier Park to drunken sluts in Whitefish to heckling bad professional baseball players to good and bad music in Seattle, it was all fun. But now he has moved on, back to his smokey cardboard box in the East. If you see this fella on the streets, run the other way. He's nothing but trouble!

Holy crap it's Captain Caveman! Posted by Picasa